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Tom's Story

Singing changed my life. It continues to change my life. The way it makes me feel is like no other.

I was always quite shy growing up and despite being a guitarist and drummer, I never enjoyed the limelight like my friends did, not without trying mind you, I just didn’t have the confidence. However, I still knew that singing was something I wanted to do more than just in the car.

My journey to singing ‘properly’ started when I flew the nest and happened to get a job where a choir was a lunchtime club! I also had the option to work in the community with choirs and loved it. At that point I never really knew the confidence it would give me, it was just work.

Despite it being work, I lined up alongside my new friends and performed at their first annual concert. There is no greater sense of accomplishment than finishing your first gig. Standing in formation, hearing the music start, doubting every word you’ve ever learnt, then looking over at your fellow singer after nailing the final notes and thinking ‘we did that’ with a big smile on your face. “Welcome to the choir” were the kind words uttered over the smiles.

Accomplishment is something that keeps me driven to achieve. Learning new choir arrangements satisfies that need in me. As a byproduct, I also achieve social connection and a sense of belonging. This is a great win win for me who won’t necessarily reach out to other friends if there isn’t a purpose as such to meet friends. I don’t think I’m alone in that feeling when I compare to other friends in my network. It’s a win win for me.

This could be your win win too if you’re a male who may find it difficult to arrange time to gather, to learn a new skills and share memories without sounding like you’re not an ‘average man’. It doesn’t even need to be singing in a choir. 5 a side football, concerts, watching sports on the TV are all ways that we give ourselves permission to spend time with our friends.

Selfie of choir leader with choir at outdoor event
CFG Haverfordwest

In a world where the statistics of loneliness is scary, and the profound impact this has on men, I’m grateful for the choir community for being a constant and allowing me to express myself through song and also give me friends for life who, if I feel ready, I can express to too. This expression allows me to express more with people outside of choir. I have a larger vocabulary and can also call myself more interesting as the performance opportunities give me something to look forward to and talk about.

Whatever it is that gets you out of the house and learning to use your voice, I hope you feel invigorated after every occasion you get to use your voice. Whether singing to an audience, or speaking shoulder shoulder with your community in your choir. Our voices are made to be heard; from beautiful music to our feelings. Use your voice to connect you with yourself and your community.

Written by Tom (CFG Director)

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6 commentaires

Thank you for sharing this with us, a look into how singing helps us all in a many ways and enhances how we feel. A great acheivement that comes with freindship, laughter and healing. Tom your presence is so uplifting and we love having you as part of our choir it a hoot Dioch Love Lynfa x

En réponse à

Yes please loved having you x


Brian Davies
Brian Davies
02 juil.

Good inspirational words Tom. It has changed my life, for the better too. Well said.

En réponse à

Thank you Brian! There really is nothing like it


Singing has enhanced my life not only with my depression but helps my lungs as I have a chronic lung condition I love my choir family and love singing our songs In gigs and Ruth is the best choir leader without a music and song in my life I would be bereft xxx

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